Bullshit or Not?
I’ve spent years asking this question about spiritual topics, energy work, and even channeling. Coming from a family with religious roots, anything to do with these topics was a big no-no. I remember my spiritual awakening at 25. My friend and I had learned about a “money ritual” involving a green candle, a $20 bill, and some intention. We lit the candle and held our breath, hoping to manifest all the money. Five minutes later, the garage door went up, and my mom came home. We blew out the candle and hid the altar so fast! And yes, I was 25 and worried about getting in trouble with my mom over this—lol. It’s funny looking back now. But this memory paints a larger picture. There was always this feeling of needing to hide, fear of what others thought, difficulty embracing things that weren’t mainstream, and a constant tendency to question everything.
Two years after that candle moment, I moved from the Chicago area to Las Vegas. There, my spiritual exploration took a new turn when I stumbled upon Reiki, a form of subtle energy work. Driven by a strong curiosity, I signed up for a Shamanic Reiki session at a local spiritual shop, not really knowing what to expect. Would I actually feel anything? Was this for real? Nervously, I lay on the table, and as the practitioner began at the top of my head, I immediately felt a strong, warm stream of energy. As she moved around, I noticed sensations and memories coming up. Then she switched to drumming around my body, and it felt so intense I thought it might knock every painting off the wall. When she finished, I felt out of it, almost like I couldn’t come back into my body. That night, I was so sick, like all the energy that was stuck had shaken loose. But soon after, I felt clear and light. Whatever happened that day, it became hard to deny that energy was real.
I was so fascinated that I decided to get attuned and trained in Reiki. Each time, I felt the energy of the people working on me, and it flowed through my body as I worked on them. Still, I had a hard time believing it was real. Many clients told me they felt the energy and shared their experiences. Even so, I don’t know why I couldn't believe it.
3 years later, I moved from Las Vegas to Athens, Alabama, and I discovered QHHT (Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique) by Dolores Cannon. I felt such a pull to do this as I did with getting trained in Reiki. I found a practitioner and decided to get a session for my 30th birthday. Surprise! That practitioner was Chelsey. In the session, I learned about the theme of this past life following me. In one life, practicing herbalism and witchcraft, and ultimately being killed for it. It was again hard to believe. A few weeks later, I'm thinking about it, standing in line at the grocery store, and I look over the cover of a magazine… “Witches” in big letters catches my eye. Coincidence? “Ok, Universe,” I said, “if this was real, show a sign of this angel number”. I saw nothing all day. I went to a restaurant to pick up my food and was bummed I didn’t see my sign. Just as I was leaving, I looked over and on the license plate in front of me was the angel number I had asked for. Goosebumps.
A few months after that grocery store moment, my spiritual journey took another turn: I had another QHHT session and learned I was meant to channel a group called the Lyrans—and that my friend Chelsey could help. Still, it took me about a year to act on this. During that year, questions swirled: What was channeling? Why me? Was it even real, or was I just making it up? Eventually, Chelsey gave me a little push, and we decided to go for it. For the next year, we practiced and channeled my guides, called The Nine. Our first group session was channeling The Nine. Over that year, my confidence grew, but I still had a hard time fully trusting it.
Now here we are today, 4 group channeling sessions in, a YouTube channel, and more material coming out. Some days, I still really struggle with the “bullshit or not?” question. I think we can all be our own worst critics and worry about what others think. Yet, when I reflect on the answers and validation I experience—especially the unmistakable sensations of love and understanding flowing through me—I find clarity. My journey has been full of doubt, but each step continues to remind me to trust myself, to embrace the unknown, and to keep moving forward despite uncertainty.
With love and gratitude,
Kaylah Dillon
